If only I could

by Kat Ongoco
May 1, 2012

I want to fall. I really do.
But you should push me.
Hard,
and exhaust your every strength.

I want to cry. I must cry.
But I am now different.
Not the girl from highschool
nor from college anymore.

I want to say something.
Those three words.
But my heart and my mind,
they are holding me tight.

I want to hate, you. Of all person.
But you do things that I love.
You give me what I need
and offer all you can.

I have to decide. Yes or no?
Ask myself if this is possible.
Hate myself for hurting you,
more than trice.

I have to open my eyes. Both of them.
Look deeper into my heart.
Search for the answers,
not for more unhelpful questions.

I have to ask Him. How?
How will this story end?
Perhaps, I am more interested to ask,
how am I gonna make it right?

Post-Its

It’s funny how my life depends on my colorful POST-ITs lately. Every time a friend of mine sees my bag, my study table in our house or my cabinet containing my school materials he or she seems to be fascinated with all the post-its that I have. I myself wonder why I have all those post-its and how I managed to have them.

Back in high school, whenever I visit my sister in her office in Manila, I always ask her why she has those colorful papers hanging in her wall. I remember telling her how “kalat” (messy) her room looks with those papers partnered with her “pangit” (ugly) handwriting (this is a joke. My sister’s handwriting is really good).

When I entered college, I have observed that most of my classmates also have those colorful papers in their bags, sometimes even attached to their notebooks or planners. I even asked one of my classmates a very stupid question, “what are those for?” haha

Now, in my last year in college, actually last month, I have realized how important post-its are and how those which I used to call messy and senseless papers helped me in organizing my everyday life.

Post-its became my companion in every task I needed to accomplish. I used them to remind me with home works, birthdays, tasks for extra-curricular activities, tasks for other organizations and most importantly, I used them to express my love to people, especially to my friends.

You see, post-its are not only papers which we use to remind us of the tasks that we should do. Those messy and colorful papers are also useful in reminding our friends, family and loved ones of how important they are to us.

Last Christmas (2011), I find it really funny when I realized that most of the gifts that I have received from my friends, my family, and even from my sister’s friends are post-its. This clearly manifests how obvious my attachment with post-its is. Haha

Keep buying post-its and keep sharing them to people, with much love. J

This is a post-it I decided to buy with April Flor Borlagdatan (my college friend)

-Kat Ongoco

sad :P

i think, i am not sure with you.

Rihanna Lyrics - What's My Name (feat. Drake)

Ohh na na, what's my name
Ohh na na, what's my name

Ohh na na, what's my name
Ohh na na, what's my name
Ohh na na, what's my name
What's my name, what's my name

[Drake:]
Uh, ya
I heard you good with them soft lips
Yeah you know word of mouth,
The square root of 69 is 8 somethin' right
Cuz I've been tryna work it out, oowww
Good weed white wine
Uh I come alive in the night time
Okay, away we go
Only thing we have on is the radio
Ohh Let it play
Say you gotta leave
But I know you wanna stay
You just waiting on the traffic jam to finish girl
The things that we could do in twenty minutes girl
Say my name, say my name wear it out,
it's getting hot crack a window, air it out
I can get you through a mighty long day
Soon as you go the text that I write is gon' say

[Rihanna:]
Not everybody knows how to work my body
Knows how to make me want it
Boy you stay up on it
You got that something
That keeps me so off balance
Baby you're a challenge
Let's explore your talent

[Chorus]
Hey boy I really wanna see
If you can go downtown with a girl like me
Hey boy, I really wanna be with you
Cause you just my type
Ooh na na na na
I need a boy to take it over
Looking for a guy to put in work, uh
Oh woah o-oh, Oh woah o-oh

Hey boy I really wanna see
If you can go downtown with a girl like me
Hey boy, I really wanna be with you
Cause you just my type
Ooh na na na na
I need a boy to take it over
Looking for a guy to put in work, uh
Oh woah o-oh, Oh woah o-oh

Ooh na na, what's my name
Ooh na na, what's my name
Ooh na na, what's my name
What's my name, what's my name

[Rihanna:]
Baby you got me
Ain't nowhere that I'd be
Then with your arms around me
Back and forth you rock me
So I surrender to every word you whisper
Every door you enter, I will let you in

[Chorus]
Hey boy I really wanna see
If you can go downtown with a girl like me
Hey boy, I really wanna be with you
Cause you just my type
Ooh na na na na
I need a boy to take it over
Looking for a guy to put in work, uh
Oh woah o-oh, Oh woah o-oh

[Rihanna:]
You're so amazing
You took the time to figure me out
That's why you take me
Way past the point of turning me on
You 'bout to break me
I swear you got me losing my mind

Ooh na na, what's my name
Ooh na na, what's my name

Ooh na na, what's my name
Ooh na na, what's my name
Ooh na na, what's my name
What's my name, what's my name

[Chorus]
Hey boy I really wanna see
If you can go downtown with a girl like me
Hey boy, I really wanna be with you
Cause you just my type
Ooh na na na na
I need a boy to take it over
Looking for a guy to put in work, uh
Oh woah o-oh, Oh woah o-oh

Hey boy I really wanna see
If you can go downtown with a girl like me
Hey boy, I really wanna be with you
Cause you just my type
Ooh na na na na
I need a boy to take it over
Looking for a guy to put in work, uh
Oh woah o-oh, Oh woah o-oh