If only I could

by Kat Ongoco
May 1, 2012

I want to fall. I really do.
But you should push me.
Hard,
and exhaust your every strength.

I want to cry. I must cry.
But I am now different.
Not the girl from highschool
nor from college anymore.

I want to say something.
Those three words.
But my heart and my mind,
they are holding me tight.

I want to hate, you. Of all person.
But you do things that I love.
You give me what I need
and offer all you can.

I have to decide. Yes or no?
Ask myself if this is possible.
Hate myself for hurting you,
more than trice.

I have to open my eyes. Both of them.
Look deeper into my heart.
Search for the answers,
not for more unhelpful questions.

I have to ask Him. How?
How will this story end?
Perhaps, I am more interested to ask,
how am I gonna make it right?