God wants me to know...

"Relax, let yourself smile, and see the light come back to you tenfold. "

holding hands :)

siya yung tipo ng taong hinding hindi bibitawan ang kamay mo. kahit magalit ka pa, mas hihigpitan pa nga niya. kapag naman binitawanan niya, sisiguraduhin niang mahahawakan nia agad yung kamay mo. hahaha

i find it really sweet ( or landi ko lang talaga) na tuwing magkasama kami eh hahawakan niya ang kamay ko. siguro sa iba awkward yun kasi hindi pa naman kami (eh kaso nga malandi nga ang lola mo, haha) pero sa tuwing nag-iinisan kami at ittry kong kumawala sa mahigpit niyang hawak sa kamay ko natatawa ako kasi lagi akong talo. hindi ko maalis yung kamay ko pero minsan ayaw ko din naman talagang alisin.

wala lang, sobrang wala akong magawa habang naghahanap ng pwedeng pasukan para mag-OJT.

hindi ko alam?

hindi ko alam kung anong nagawa ko at bakit parang sa lahat ng tao eh ayaw niya sakin. hindi ko talaga alam kung bakit tinatamaan ako sa lahat ng posts niang negative about sa isang tao. hindi ko talaga alam. pero ngayon siguro tama na for me, i've done my part :) kung ayaw nia sakin siguro hindi masamang wag ko na lang ipilit ang sarili ko sakanya after all madami namang taong nakaka-appreciate sakin. i used to adore her, love her and idolize her :) i still do pa naman, siguro nga lang, this time, medyo hindi na ko masyadong lalapit or makiki-epal. i'll just do what i am supposed to do, wag lang magmumukhang epal sa kanya.

My Unaware Mentor

"it's difficult to focus your attention on something when clearly what you feel is for something else"

i have this professor and he's probably the best i will have in my entire academic life.

first he's a monster. why? i consider him such for he ruins our sleeping habits for making us read one/two books a week. asking us to read newspapers and the like. having a recitation for 3hours and asking questions that would make us think that we do not know how to analyze, giving us a quiz every meeting and a thinkpiece that would determine whether we will pass or not.

however, when i say he's a monster, it doesn't mean that he's a monster inside. i know for a fact that every single task that he asks us to do is for our good. thus, i consider him an angelic monster

an angel for making us understand everything. making us strong by inspiring us with his words though he's not even aware he's doing so. an angel for guiding us with lessons not just to pass our course but to pass the challenges of our lives.

i always tell my friends that i have a crush on him and they'll laugh at me for that. but i don't care. i admire him for he's great. one of the greatest men i have ever met. i am lucky, very lucky to be his student twice.

how i wish i am one of the best in our class. how i wish i could work with him someday. how i wish i am as great as he is.

(Prof. Edmund Tayao, my professor and my unaware mentor)

before :) taken during the after party of Mr. and Ms. Polscie, from then on, he keeps on calling me Ms. Polscie :) i remember him saying, "wala tong tiwala sa sarili niya" when i acted like i don't deserve my rank of being the 1st runner-up.

after :) taken during our Socialization 2011, i don't wanna miss the opportunity to have a photo with him this time :) hahah kilig na kilig lang ako nung nakita ko to! hahahahaha

ME :)

MY PERSONALITY:

i’m loud
i’m obnoxious.
i’m sarcastic.
i’m cocky.
i cry easily.
i have a bad temper.
for the most part i don’t like people.
i’m easy to get along with.
i have more enemies than friends.
i’ve smoked.
i’ve smoked weed.
i drink coffee.
i clean my room daily.

MY APPEARANCE:

i wear makeup.
i wear a piece of jewelry at all time.
i wear contacts.
i wear glasses.
i have braces.
i change my hair colour often
i straighten my hair often
i have a piercing
i have small feet

RELATIONSHIPS:

i’m in a relationship now.
i’m single.
i’m crushin’.
i’m in love.
i’m always scared of being hurt.
an ex has physically abused me at least once.
i’ve told someone i loved them when i didn’t.
i’ve told someone i didn’t love them when i did.
i’ve been in love more than two times.
i believe in love at first sight.
i believe lust is more important than love.

FRIENDSHIPS:

i have a best friend.
i have at least ten friends.
i’ve gotten a phone call in the last 48 hours from a friend.
i’ve beaten up a friend.
i’ve been in a serious fight with a friend.
i can trust at least five people with my life.

EXPERIENCES:

i’ve been on a plane.
i’ve been on a train.
someone close to me has died.
i’ve taken a taxi.
i’ve taken a city bus.
i’ve taken a school bus.
i’ve gone bungee jumping.
i’ve made a speech.
i’ve been in some sort of club.
i’ve won an award.
i’ve spent 24 hours on the computer straight.

i’ve been in a physical fight.

MUSIC:

i listen to r&b.
i listen to country.
i listen to pop.
i listen to techno.
i listen to rock.
i’m one of those people who play songs repeatedly until i hate it.
i hate the radio.
i download music.
i buy cds.

TELEVISION:

i spend at least six hours a day watching television.
i watch soap operas daily.
i’m in love with days of our lives.
i’ve seen and liked the o.c.
i’ve seen and like americas next top model.
i’ve seen and like popular.
i’ve seen and like 24.
i’ve seen and liked csi.
i’ve seen and like everwood.

FAMILY LIFE:

i get along with both of my parents.
my biological parents are still together.
i have at least one brother.
i have at least one sister.
i have at least one step brother/sister.
i have at least one half brother/sister.
i’ve been kicked out of the house.
i’ve ran away from my home.
i’ve sworn at my parents.
i’ve made my parents cry.
i’ve lied to my parents.
i’ve lied to my parents about where i am.
i’ve lied to my parents about what i’m doing.
i’ve lied to my parents so i’d be allowed out.
i’ve walked out when i’ve been grounded.

HAIR:

i’ve been brown.
i’ve had streaks.
i’ve cut my hair in the past year.
i’ve dyed my hair in the past year.
i’ve been blonde.
i’ve had black.
i’ve been red. (celophane only. :D)
i’ve been light brown.
i’ve been medium brown.
i’ve been blue/green.
i’ve gotten my hair thinned.
i use conditioner.
i’ve used silk therapy.
i’ve used hot oil treatments.
i’ve curled my hair.
i’ve straightened my hair.
i’ve ironed my hair.
i’ve braided my hair.


SCHOOL:

i’ve yelled at a teacher.
i’ve been suspended.
i’ve had an in-school suspension.
i’ve been sent to the principals office.
i’ve walked out of class.
i’ve skipped an entire day of school.
i’ve skipped a whole month of one certain class.
i’ve failed a test.
i’ve cheated on a test.
i’ve helped someone else cheat on a test.
i’ve failed art.
i’ve failed p.e.
i’ve failed math.
i’ve failed science.
i’ve failed another class.
a teacher has called my parents

bahala na si batman

bahala na si batman kasi siguro nga ngayon masasabi kong inlabababo na naman ako. for the nth time! char! hahaha pang-lima palang naman. lang? ang dami na pala. at yes, pang-lima na, meaning apat na beses na pala akong nabigo sa pag-ibig :) shet.

March 29, 2011

kuhanan ng toga nila :) yey! grad na nila sa March 31, 2011 :)
susunduin nia ko or dadalawin or ihahatid, basta magulo ang dapat niang gagawin, pero naudlot kasi nabadtrip ako dahil sabi nia hindi na daw matutuloy kasi ang bagal ko kasi 1pm na nasa bahay pa ko. kakainis, ako pa sinisi?? hahaha

buti na lang dumating bigla yung daddy nia, wawa nga lang walang sumundo sa airport kasi hindi nila alam, akala nila hindi natuloy. naawa tuloy ako at nagreply na tuloy ako. hahaha pero, hindi naman dapat palang maawa kasi naman masaya syempreng nandun yung daddy nia sa grad nia. sabi kona nga ba eh, hindi papabayaan ni God na hindi makauwe si daddy nia. hahaha kahit walang wala na siyang pag-asa at kesyo sanay na daw siyang laging namomove yung uwe ni daddy nia.

sabi ko saknya umuwe na lang siya at wag na kong ihatid kasi hihintayin ko din sila ap at laine. ang kulet, ihahatid daw niya ko, edi nagpahatid na ko. hahaha kunyare pa kong ayaw ko eh gusto ko naman talaga.

segway lang, hindi ko ba alam bakit hindi ko magawang tiisin tong tao na 'to. kahit ilang beses nia kong awayin, sungitan, at kung anu-ano pa, palaging hindi ko siya natitiis, palaging matatawa na lang ako kapag tinitigan nia ko, palaging tatanggapin ko agad ang bawat sorry nia. hahaha pag-ibig, tae.

Last day na atang magkasama kami na fourth year pa siya at third year pa ko. last day na sasabayan niya kong umuwe galing sa school. last day na maeenjoy namin ang oras na walang kelangang gawing schoolworks o trabaho. last day na estudyante pa kaming dalawa.

last day sa A.Y. 2010-2011 na kakain kami ng betamax, isaw, roller coaster, iinum ng C2, at tatambay sa roof top ng condo namin. last day na yayakapin nia ko ng matagal, last day na ikikiss nia ko sa noo, sa pisngi, at kung saan-saan pa! oops wag malisyoso, hahaha! sa ilong kasi! hahaha charot! last day na maghihintay kami ng shooting star na wala naman kaming mapapala. last day na tatanungin ko siya kung mahal niya ko. last day na kukulitin ko siyang wag siyang mambababae kapag di nia ko kasama! hahaha last day ng mga kalokohan naming dalwa.

peroooo, last day ng A.Y., hindi ng kung anong meron kami. hahahahaha ayoko pa nuh! kung pwede nga lang hindi na magkaroon ng last day yung kung anong meron kami. hahaha ano nga bang meron kami? showbiz kasi! hahaha shhhhhh! natatawa ako.

most memorable conversation:

Kat: pano pag kunyare nagpakasal tayo, tas nagka-anak, tas namatay na ko, papakasal ka pa ulit?
Felix: hindi na, nakakatamad na yun!
Kat: ehhh, ayos lang sakin, di naman ako magagalit eh, magpakasal kana ulit!
Felix: eh ayoko nga, papakasal lang ako ulit kung sobrang kamuhkang kamukha mo!
Kat: si Lalaine!!!
Felix: yung sobrang kamuhka mo na parang pangalan na lang talaga yung iniba
Kat: ehh wala naman atang ganun eh
Felix: ikaw lang kasi ang gusto ko.
Kat: (kinilig na si ate mong gerl :P )

Socia pictures :)

with my peliks :) (merong "my" kasi gusto ko lang :)

im hoping that next year we'll have our 2012 socia pic, that is, if the up coming juniors would give us the traditional socialization. :) *fingers crossed*

Socia pictures :)

my solo pictures :)

credits to jeshamar villasis and others :) i dunno who took the other 3

Socia pictures :)

With my BFFS :)
My beri funny friends :) hoho

April Anne Dizon in blue and Mae Lalaine de Leon in red

Socia pictures :)

With my favorite PolScie Professors :)

With my crush (hihi), Professor Edmund Tayao

With my and our forever life mentor, Atty. Bong Lopez

With our capmus crushie, Professor Dennis Coronacion

Socia pictures :)

Socia pictures :)

perfectly delicious 2

Socia pictures :)

perfectly delicious

Socia pictures :)

Ivy, Nelly, Jana, Joliv and Zel

TPSF's Himig (the official chorale of TPSF)

the organizers :)

Kim Celina Sta. Ana :)

Elaine Joy Paguio

Socia pictures :)

my 1pol4 buddies :)

freshmen to sophomores :)

freshmen to sophomores :)

my 3pol buddies :)

my 3pol buddies :)

Socia pictures :)

polscie bullies :) Lance Asuncion, Ady Hernandez, Jober Templado, Riro Creer, and Ernesto Nicdao

with the polscie bullies :)

TPSF 2011-2012 President, Ms. Jeshamar Villasis

Socia's Finance Head, Sunshine Rayoso, TPSF's External Affairs Head, Louie Boy de Real, and Socia's PPrograms Head, Elaine Joy Paguio

TPSF 2011-2012 Vice President, Mr. Raphael Co

Socia pictures :)

done with our hair and make-up :)

My pakner, Ivan Ricafrente, and Joliv Catiis

My Asst. Head in Comdev, Jer Rivera

Madam Renel Briones along with Miko Ayson and Nero Anciano

TPSF SOCIALIZATION 2011

WHAT: Socialization 2011
WHEN: March 26, 2011
WHERE: Palacio de Maynila

First, it was a blast!
Second, i captured 400+ pictures last night :)
Third, we made the outgoing seniors happy and satisfied with the event (sent off party).
Fourth, we proved how our batch can make things work by simply being ONE.
Fifth, we became the epitome of a TRUE FAMILY.
Sixth, Atty. Bong Lopez said that the event, so far, was the best socialization held :)
Seventh, i was so happy to be with my friends/tpsf family that night.
Eight, i had my dream photos: with Prof. Edmund Tayao, Prof. Dennis Coronacion, and Atty. Bong Lopez.

however, i had my failures during the event.

first, my modern filipiniana was delivered 1 hour before the event proper (sh*t) instead of 1 day before the event. i waited for 1 day and 7 hours for the delivery. i will never ever go back to that store/shop again.
second, i failed to perfect our cypher and intermission routines. "Palpak" in Filipino. embarrassing moment, damn.
third, i wasn't able to eat all the food i wanted to eat. i had no time. i was busy practicing the routine and taking pictures, etc. haha (it was my fault)
fourth, the saltikin family was not able to have the long-wanted family picture (sad)
fifth, i did not enjoy the photo booth because i am busy (but it is okay, given the chance to see everyone happy with the booth made me happy as well)
sixth, and a lot more :) (sh*t)

WHAT: SOCIA'S after party
WHEN: after nga eh (hahaha)
WHERE: Coal, Harbour Square

because we are a family, and we were thirsty (joke) we decided to hangout in a bar for a while and maybe, for the last time. we didn't actually drink heavy, we just played games like stripped or dare, questions chuchu, cards, etc. some shared their problems and some gave pieces of advice. it was also fun, the very first night we, 3POL, went to a bar, though we're not complete.

pictures to be posted after editing all :)

di ko man nasabi sayo, pero MAHAL NA MAHAL KITA!

tandang tanda ko pa yung mga araw na malapit lang ako sakanya. nung mga araw na lagi kaming nagtatalo sa pinakamaliliit na dahilan. nung mga araw na alam ko, sa sarili ko, na hindi ako mabuting tao. na hindi niya ako dapat mahalin at hindi na sana ako binuhay pa. yung mga araw na mahina pa ako. mga araw iiyak ako dahil sila, at hindi ako, ang kinakampihan mo.mga raw na ramdam kong nag-iisa ako.

siguro nga bata pa ako noon at medyo may edad na ko ngayon (haha). sugiro nga iba na ngayong malayo ka na sakin at hindi na tayo nagtatalo ng limang beses sa isang araw. siguro nga, ngayon nagsisisi na ako. nagsisisi na sana hindi kita nasaktan. na sana, nasabi ko sayo kung gano kita kamahal. nagsisisi na sana hindi nauna ang kaartehan ko sa tuwing pinapagalitan mo ako sa mga mali kong nagagawa. sana hindi ko naisip na mawala kana sa mundo.

pero, ngayon, alam kona kung ano ang mas mahalaga. hindi naman kelangang pagsisihan ang lahat ng nagawa kong katangahan. siguro mas dapat na suklian ko na lang ang lahat ng pagmamahal na binigay mo sakin simula nung unang araw na tiniis mo ang sakit ng aking paglabas sa bilog na mundong ito. mas tama lang na ipakita ko sayong mahal kita ng sobra. higit sa ibang taong alam mong nagmamahal sayo. mahal kita dahil walang kahit anong dahilan.

ikaw ang nagturo saking magmahal. ikaw ang naturo saking magdasal. ikaw ang nagturo saking magsalita, magsabi ng "po" at "opo." ikaw ang nagturo saking wag mambabastos ng matanda maging ng kapwa ko bata. ikaw ang nagturo sakin ng halos lahat ng nalalaman ko ngayon.

ang bigat sa pakiramdam na, di tulad ng ibang bata o ng iba kong mga kaibigan na nakakasama nila ang kanilang "mama" o "mommy" o kung ano pang tawag nila sa kanilang mga nanay, malayo tayo sa isa't isa. tanging text messages lang ang nagiging tulay sa tatlong oras ng agwat natin sa isa't isa. buti na lang, naimbento ang cellphone. iniisip ko ngayon, kung hindi ba ako lumayo at kung nanjan padin ba ako, magiging tulad padin ba tayo ng dati? mamimiss ba kita at malulungkot ba ako kapag di kita nakikita o nayayakap? iiyak din ba ako sa tuwing sinasabi mo sakin kung gano moko kamahal at kung gaano kaimportante bilang bunso mong anal. hindi ko alam.

siguro, salamat nadin at kinailangan kong lumayo at dito mag-aral. para naman sa inyo 'to ni papa. ngayon, natututo akong magmahal ng totoo. naramdaman ko ang pakiramdam ng malayo sa isang ina. nadama ko ang pagsisisi na sa labing anim na taong nabubuhay ako, hindi ko man lang sinabi sayo na MAHAL KITA HIGIT SA LAHAT! MAHAL KITA MAMA! MAHAL NA MAHAL KITA! hindi ko man lang nasabi sayo na SORRY, SORRY SA LAHAT NG SAKIT NA BINIGAY KO.

sana, kapag umuwe na ako, masaya na ang lahat ng araw. sana kapag nakita na ulit kita, unang sasabihn ko eh I LOVE YOU MAMA! na may kasamang yakap at halik na parang nung bata pa 'kong binibihisan mo at nilalagyan ng pulbo.

buti na lang hindi pa huli ang lahat. buti na lang maaga kong naisip na wala akong kwneta. buti na lang, may oras pa.

(para kay Lord: sna po makauwe na ko TT, sana po bantayan niyo palagi sina mama at papa, THANK YOU PO!)

my desired socia attire :)

i found maxine magalona's image in "tumblr." barong and skirt. then i asked myself, "why not try barong for socia?" however, i don't want to wear that pencil-cut skirt so i searched for a tutu skirt.

Background: i spent almost half of the academic year, looking for a modern filipiniana attire but i was not lucky enough to find one.

last friday, i opened up the idea of a mixture of barong and a tutu skirt to my sister. she said, it's okay. the only problem is, where would i find one? then she volunteered to accompany me to the mall, but i told her i prefer to go to divisoria, then she said she'll go with me :) i was shocked because she's really not the type who'll be willing to go to such a place.

when we're there, in the gown/barong area, we asked if they have barong for girls, but they don't so i decided to look for a tailor :) luckily, this time, i found one :)

Problem: i don't really know if a barong (worn by a girl/lady) would fit a tutu skirt.

anyway, i don't have a choice. i wanted the outfit and no one forced me about it. wish me luck!